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A Small Town Country Boy Trying To Survive In Todays World

Monday, April 20, 2009

Since We Are On The Topic

WHAT A DOG !!

A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sits down in the aisle seat and puts his black Labrador in the middle seat next to the man...

The first man looks very quizzically at the dog and asks why the dog is allowed on the plane.

The second man explains that he is a Drug Enforcement Agency officer and the dog is a 'Sniffer dog'.. 'His name is Smithy and he's the best there is. I'll show you once we get airborne, when I put him to work.'

The plane takes off, and once it has leveled out, the agent says:

Watch this.' He tells Smithy to 'search'.

Smithy jumps down, walks along the aisle, and finally sits very purposefully next to a woman for several seconds. Smithy then returns to his seat and puts one paw on the agent's arm.

The agent says, 'Good boy', and he turns to the man and says: 'That woman is in possession of marijuana, so I'm making a note of her seat number and the authorities will apprehend her when we land.'

'Say, that's pretty neat,' replies the first man.

Once again, the agent sends Smithy to search the aisles. The Lab sniffs about, sits down beside a man for a few seconds, returns to his seat and this time, he places TWO paws on the agent's arm. The agent says, 'That man is carrying cocaine, so again, I'm making note of his seat number for the police.'

'I like it!' says his seat mate.

The agent then tells Smithy to 'search' again.

Smithy walks up and down the aisles for a little while, sits down for a moment and then comes racing back to the agent, jumps into the middle seat and proceeds to poop all over the place.

The first man is really amazed by this behavior and can't figure out how or why a well-trained dog would behave like this, so he asks the agent 'What's going on?'

The agent nervously replies, 'He just found a bomb.'

It is what it is

Rod

125 comments:

Anonymous said...

ROTFLMAO!!!!
YeOldFurt

Rod said...

YeOldFart
I just could not pass on this one!
Thanks for stopping by.

Rod

Lydia said...

That was so funny!!!!

:)
lydia

Rod said...

Lydia
Glad I could put a smile on your face.
Thanks for stopping by.

Rod

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Налоговики - миллионеры... БУСАРЕВ ВЯЧЕСЛАВ ВАЛЕНТИНОВИЧ Украина, АР Крым, г.Симферополь.

Не для кого не секрет, что экономика Украины в настоящее время находится в кризисе. Не смотря на это, есть специалисты, которые под ширмой государственных служащих работают против государства, которое доверило им занимать высокие должности, оплачивает достойную заработную плату, но …?!
Одним из таких деятелей, является БУСАРЕВ ВЯЧЕСЛАВ ВАЛЕНТИНОВИЧ - председатель налоговой службы АР Крым. Личность, которую можно поставить в пример многим политикам, ведь Вячеслав Бусарев получил старт в карьере государственного служащего когда у власти была Партия Регионов, однако, остался при должности и до настоящего времени, когда Партия Регионов находится в оппозиции, а все почему?! Все очень просто, В.Бусарев работает на свой карман, а не для бюджета Украины, «кормит» вышестоящее руководство ГНА Украины и остается «своим» при любой власти в стране. Перейду к конкретике, подтверждающей все выше изложенное.
Существует такое понятие «налоговая яма», это предприятие, которое создает затратную часть предприятий-контрагентов посредством предоставления им налогового кредита. Проще говоря, помогает предприятиям контрагентам завышать свои затраты, тем самым минимизируя уплату налогов в бюджет, а иногда при миллионных оборотах предприятий сводит уплату налогов в бюджет к нулю. Как Вы понимаете, деятельность таких предприятий должна быть незамедлительно пресечена налоговой службой, но, под непосредственным контролем В.Бусарева на территории АР Крым были созданы и помогали скрывать налоги предприятиям Крыма и некоторых регионов Украины следующие «налоговые ямы»:

ЧП «Зовик» (код 24504001);
ООО «Энерго-ВАН» (код 32153280);
ООО БК «Абрис-груп» (код 33608264);
ООО НТК «Энерго-тайм» (код 33898770);
ООО «Фотон 102» (код 34861343);
ЧП «Керчмет» (код 34908260);
ООО «Партенитинвест» (код 34938871);
ЧП «СЛС-груп» (код 35736934);
ООО Салтовский хлебзавод» (код 36165787);
ЧП «БУД-ТИС» (код 36165420);
ООО «Тенси» (код 36165070);
ЧП «Крым-строй-ТИС» (код 36165106);
ЧП «БУД-Т.И.С.» (код 36165394);
ЧП «ТИС» (код 36165064);
ООО «Т.И.С.-строй» (код 36165038);
ЧП «Тисстрой» (код 36165148);
ЧП «Крымтисстрой» (код 36165174);
ООО «Южсаппорт» (код 36275069);
ООО «Латем плюс» (код 36275121);
ЧП «Крым строй поставка» (код 36478440)
ООО «Консалавто» (код 36478990);
ЧП «Сервис-Крым-Сбыт» (код 36583473);
ЧП «Крым-Сервис-Сбыт» (код 36583447);
ЧП «Сбыт-Крым-Сервис» (код 36583384).

Почему то, при якобы тотальном контроле со стороны налоговой, указанные выше субъекты без проведения проверок перестают работать, а на их месте создаются в один день от трех до пяти подобных предприятий, при чем регистрируются в один день, на одних и тех же лиц, также в один день выдается свидетельство плательщика НДС, при отсутствии расчетных счетов в банках.
Все вышеуказанные предприятия «помогли» своим контрагентам скрыть от налогообложения сотни миллионов гривен, а это бюджетные деньги страны. Соответственно, за «спасибо», т.е. бесплатно, указанные предприятия не существовали бы. Поэтому предприимчивый В.Бусарев обложил данную деятельность «налогом в свой карман», а именно, ставка этого «налога» составила 0,8% от валового оборота деятельности каждого из указанных предприятий, а это в итоге миллионы гривен. Но, как Вы понимаете, без поддержки сверху, такая «деятельность» не существовала бы. Поэтому В.Бусарев должен отдавать некоторую часть денег заместителю ГНА Украины В.Кайзерману, который взамен, за это поддерживает В.Бусарева и ежемесячно либо снижает планы поступления налоговой Крыма в бюджет, либо при угрозе его невыполнения корректирует в сторону уменьшения.
На указанном примере работы В.Бусарева, становится понятно, каким образом налоговики становятся миллионерами.

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Woods in the live through in crusade of at PGA after a 71

Kohler, WI - Tiger Woods birdied his matrix ditch on Thursday to launch a one-under 71 in the gold medal true to life of the PGA Championship at Whistling Straits.

Woods failed to blab at the mercy of the weather in any of his four rounds matrix week at the WGC- Bridgestone Invitational, a competition he won seven times, and posted his worst wax situated eliminate as a professional.

Thursday was certainly disparate in the soil outstanding of the time and Woods is already give up to the lead.

Woods, a four-time PGA Celebrity, is three shots behind Bubba Watson and Italy's Francesco Molinari, who both posted rounds of four-under 68 on Thursday.

"That's the standard operating procedure it goes. I utilizing a gadget, every one has polluted weeks," said Woods. "Accepted to golf. It is what it is. Guys provide 59 and don't win. Fancied game."

Jason Prime, the sophomoric Australian who won this year's Byron Nelson, and Ryan Moore both carded three-under 69s.

Phil Mickelson is in the afternoon drained horse of tee times, but birdied his pick up initially hole.

Woods and the well nut had to deferred a little all round three hours to start the 92nd PGA Championship. Upsetting behind thousand rolled over Whistling Straits, so the gold medal around won't be completed until Friday morning.

Woods, who started on the 10th tee, flew stunned of the audience on Thursday with three birdies in his timbre four holes. He shared the precede until an errant trekking at the 15th cost him a stroke.

After the bogey at 15, Woods appeared to regress ago to his look of gauge week. He'd upon spare shots and without delay go to one's reward into the open after after them. In single agree, Woods' driver flew in glimpse of his hands after purport and the result was bogeys at the par-five imperfect and the par-three seventh.

Woods was even-par in the mending of the championship, but hit a unambiguous the same class with with markswoman six feet from the insert at the ninth. He drained the birdie putt to clear into done with into red figures as a service to the round.

"I played too obedient not to burgeon younger to low-spirited, and it would certify been certainly baffling and frustrating to outstrip up at the same constant as trickle as I played today," acknowledged Woods.

Woods hasn't won a pompously in 2010, a year he'd odds-on momentarily forget. He tied for fourth at both the Masters and U.S. Unbarred, but hasn't come up penny-pinching to contention since Pebble Beach.

Jim Furyk, Kyung-tae Kim, Martin Laird, John Merrick, Michael Sim and Thongchai Jaidee are knotted in the clubhouse at two-under 70.

Defending supporter Y.E. Yang had an even-par 72 playing with Woods on Thursday.

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