Kids Got To Love Them

Was thinking back when my boys were young and chuckling to my self about some of the things they did and said through the years. For example.

When my oldest son got so he was crawling we could not keep him out of the drawers in the kitchen until we gave him one for him to put his toys in and that stopped it he had his own drawer so he did not need to get in any others. Worked for both boys, which was kind of surprising.

I also chuckle every time I think about when my youngest was in a walker and my oldest son took a toy from him. Mad OMG he took off after him in that walker and eventually cornered him, got his toy back, and gave him a piece of his mind! Didn't understand a word he said but he did have allot to say.

There was also one thing that happened that still to this day amazes me. My oldest always had ear infections so he had to take allot of liquid children's medicine and that usually ended up with me sitting on him and force feeding him...not much fun. Well one time I had the medicine in my hand and sat down in front of him and for some reason said to him; now how do you want to do this on your own, or do I have to sit on you and do it? Well he looked at me and then held his hands out so I gave him the medicine and he drank it right down, and we never did have to force it down him again no matter how bad it tasted.

When the boys got a little older one day my wife turned around in the kitchen and there was a great big spider crawling across the floor (she hates spiders). So she screamed and that made the youngest come running to see what was wrong. My wife pointed at the spider and told him that was why she had screamed. So being a little boy he trotted over and smashed the spider with his bare foot and proudly exclaimed to his mother. There mys got it for you mom.

And now for the best one.

The boys were eating dinner one night at the breakfast bar we had at the time and my wife was doing dishes at the sink. We lived way out in the country at that time and never pulled the shades so at night the window worked like a mirror. Well the boys were being boys and were fooling around as much as they were eating and finally one of them did something that made mommy mad so she yelled at whoever to knock off whatever they had done. The whole time with her back to them.
A short time after she got done, my youngest son kinda leaned over to his brother and said. "See I told you she does have eyes in the back of her head"

My wife had to leave the kitchen after that...

It is what it is

Rod

Useless Facts

Been feeling a little under the weather lately so here you go. Maybe tomorrow you can share in some more of my wisdom!

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

(Hardly seems worth it.)


If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

(Now that's more like it !)


The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

(O.M.G.!)


A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.

(In my next life, I want to be a pig..)


A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)

(I'm still not over the pig.)


Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour

(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)


The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.

(Honey, I'm home. What the...?!)


The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes.. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)


The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)


Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)


Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Something I always wanted to know.)


The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.(Hmmmmmm......)


Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.

(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)


Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.

(Okay, so that would be a good thing)


A cat's urine glows under a black light.

(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)


An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

( I know some people like that.)


Starfish have no brains

(I know some people like that too.)


Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)


Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

(What about that pig??)


It is what it is


Rod

Just A Joke For Today

A DEA officer stops at a ranch in Oregon, and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, 'I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.'

The old rancher says, 'Okay, but do not go in that field over there' and he points out the location.

The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, 'Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me.' Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the farmer. 'See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish...on any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?'

The old rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased close behind by the rancher's prize bull. With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he'll get "horned" before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly terrified. The old rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs.....

'Your badge! Show him your badge!

It is what it is
Be careful when you come to my state!
Rod

Got Me Thinking

Was reading Jims Blog yesterday and the comments and it got me to thinking.

Well as you all know I have lived all my life in small towns so I had never thought of things the same way as those who are living in big cities. When I was a kid growing up here I could not get away with anything, everybody knew me and my parents, so it was only a phone call, and then..Well you know.

Just to give you an idea of how backwards I was when my wife and I first got married we went to Portland, and went to a mall and I got out of the car did not lock the door, hell I even left the keys in it. When we got back my wife about had a fit. You can't do that in a city what were you thinking. Well I had owned that rig for about 2 years at that time and I think that the keys had only been out of it maybe 3 or 4 times. One time I had my checkbook stolen for about 4 hours before it was returned to me by one of the store owners here at town. They even arrested the guy the next day.

So therein lies a big problem. When I do go to a big city I don't think about someone trying to harm me or my wife, never concerned me. Guess I had always thought that I could handle it if it happened to me. I have been in my fair share of scrapes through the years and had came out ok on most so always had thought that would be enough...but maybe not.

Blending in with the crowd is something I had not even thought of no concern in anyway shape or form. My wife always said it was easy to find me when we were in Vegas because I was one of the few there with a hat on. Carrying some sort of protection like a walking stick or carrying my car keys with the point sticking out never even considered it and would of never thought of it.

The only time that I ever carry any protection with me is when we travel, and I know we will be driving at night. There are a lot of open roads around here where people have stopped to help a car that is broke down just to find out the hard way that they are nothing but bandits. I have only stopped once for a broken down car and it was broken down so the guy got in the truck with me and the first words out of his mouth were just so you know I have a gun on me and opened up his coat to show it to me. Well it was ok because I also had a gun on me too and I was kind enough to show it to him lifting it out of my lap from under my coat. Well we had a good laugh about it at the time but I have never stopped to help a broken down car along side the road again and never will. Sorry about your bad luck have a good night.

So if you do go and read Jims Blog take what he has said and add it to my last paragraph and take notice.

It is what it is

Rod

What To Do

Ok I have ranted about not having a job and it's pitfalls but I was brought to a new reality yesterday.

My youngest son still has his job at the mill but they are working short hours, and therein lies the problem. If he works too many hours it cuts into his unemployment benefits which was supplementing his pay. He has worked enough hours the last 2 weeks to get no help from unemployment.

The problem that has now shown it's ugly head is that he is not making enough money to be able to make his payments. Now he does not live high on the hog his rent is only $300 a month and his truck payment is the same. That will basically use up his pay checks for the month. That still leaves power, gas, food. and insurance.

All this time all I have worried about was the people without jobs but had never thought about the ones having to work shortened hours.

Ok back to my son, Do I offer for him to come back home again. The last time was a nightmare ending with me basically throwing him out as he was being a deadbeat and not paying for anything. Oh he had money when it was for something he wanted but none to help out at home.

I'm also very happy with an empty nest, my wife and I have never got along better in our 25+ years of being married. So I am at odds with what is the right thing to do or to be selfish.

Hell even with him here and helping with payments we probably won't be able to keep the house, Then what?
Guess it is time to swallow the pride and sit him and my wife down and discuss this situation and see where it ends up. Maybe with a little financial help from him we can keep the house longer..Who knows...

It is what it is

Rod

Good Times

Man time flies when your retired. (Ha Ha) Always wanted to retire early.

It seems I was just here writing not an hour ago, but now another day has passed. So what did I get accomplished today? Nothing, but the good thing is it will still be there for me tomorrow when I wake up..Yippee.

Did watch the NASCAR race yesterday. My guy didn't win, bummer. And then they have to keep rubbing it in my face about the race next week in Las Vegas. You see I have tickets but due to my present financial situation can not go.

We have been going to the races for the last 4 years. Always have a great time, never run out of things to do. That city never sleeps, it's go go go 24 hours a day. Love that city. And if you have never been there, the commercials you see are so true; what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

The first time we went there I was not too excited about it, and was talking to a friend that had went there. He was telling me how great it was and one of the last things he said was that you don't go to Vegas to sleep. Yeah right I thought! Well was I ever wrong.

We got there for a 3 day 4 night stay and we did the typical tourist thing walked down Las Vegas boulevard stopping at the different casinos, playing a little, lots of people big deal, what is so great about this? First night we went to dinner and my wife drank a little too much so she was early to bed but not me. I had a plan.

So after I put her to bed I went to see if I could succeed with my plan. 20 dollars, a black jack table see if it would last long enough for me to get good and drunk. Good plan, right? Well I succeeded, don't have any idea what time it was as there are no clocks in the casinos but still had money when the stool at the black jack table started to have a hard time staying upright.

So I staggered off to bed and got about 2 hours of sleep when my wife woke me up by dumping 100 silver dollars on me! She had hit a 100 dollar jackpot and was ready to go.

Well lets go then, and up I got, and away we headed back down the strip. Now I was still not to impressed with Vegas, until we were in one of the big casinos and it hit me...I don't know anyone here and they don't know me, and I will probably never see these people again in my life. So the fun began.

My wife was holding a bucket of quarters so I grabbed them from her and started down a row of machines stuffing quarters in and yelling at her come on baby daddy wants a jackpot. She was not too impressed, but started pulling the handles and following me. When I hit the end of the row I ran back to the first machine and started right back down the row the whole time cheering the machines on!

Well after the second pass we started to get an audience, and they were cheering us on, so my wife started to get into it then. I believe we came out a little ahead money wise, but it was fun.
Well to make a long story short after I had calmed down my wife and she saw that nobody really cared we had the time of our life.

And my plan..Worked every time that trip 20 dollars, and never more for me each day. The last day we were there, my wife and I got a lucky streak and won over 2,000 dollars! So we came home with money ahead. Sleep well? I ended up getting about 14 hours on 3 day 4 night stay so it was true, you do not go there to sleep.

It is what it is

Rod

Feel Good Moments

I spent allot of time today letting my mind wander and I kept thinking about the small things that mean so much to me.

I worked swing shift for 10 years straight while my sons were young so as I have told you before I tried to spend allot of the weekends spending quality time with them.

I also enjoyed bow hunting allot so I would take one or the other with me on most weekends. We had a deal that what ever happened up hunting stayed there. So if they wanted a soda pop for breakfast so be it but it stayed there.

So one morning we were headed out and my son asked if he could have a pop. Sure no problem, stopped and got him one out of the cooler. All the sudden he started laughing and jumped into the back seat and started rummaging around. He popped up still giggling and jumped back into the front seat with a bag of potato chips. I still get a smile on my face ever time I remember the look on his face and that giggle.

There was one time that they got out of school before I had to go to work so I went to pick them up. I was sitting there some what impatiently watching other kids coming out and wondering where my sons were. Well they finally came out the door and stood there looking for their mothers car, Looked by me a couple of times. So now it was starting to amuse me so I just sat there and watched them.

It probably took them about 15 minutes of looking before one of them spotted me and they both were so excited that I had showed up to pick them up. It is another of those small things that when I remember it I always catch myself smiling.

There was one time My youngest son and I were making a hunt and we were in sight of the truck and he spotted a cow in the trees. He looked at me and that was all it took and off he went chasing that cow off through the woods. He did not go far and came back with such a look of joy on his face as if he had done something sooo bad.

Call it what you want feel good moments the small things but we all have them

It is what it is

Rod